‘Virtual Airport’ to revolutionise the aviation industry

    The municipality of Bad Taxenheim in rural Germany has announced plans to construct a vast virtual airport and aerotropolis designed to transform the way the airline industry works, bringing thousands of new virtual jobs to the region.

    Bad Taxenheim Mayor, Frau Angie Mehrtaxes, said a team of experts from leading profit-maker Fatbank had been studying the evolution of the airline industry and concluded that a conspicuous part of the new world was focused around the expansion of the “virtual airline”.

    “The concept is enormously attractive to airports, given their normally enormous and long-term capital commitments. By becoming a virtual airport, we can avoid a whole lot of unnecessary cost and at the same time offer a much lower cost base for our customers. We plan to invite several leading virtual airlines to serve the airport. Given the low risk and low impact airport footprint, we can be up and running within several months,” said Frau Mehrtaxes.

    Fatbank virtual expert, SVP Saul D Mysole, confirmed that the bank had been working closely with the municipality. “We are convinced that this cutting edge concept will generate enormous revenue for Fatbank, while creating virtually no value for anyone else. It is such a clean transaction that we are surprised no-one – including us – has thought of it before.”

    A new open skies regime will be introduced to ensure as many virtual airlines as possible are able to operate, except from Qatar and the UAE. Main revenue streams for the virtual airport are expected to be from aviation taxes levied by the German government. These have already been highly influential in deterring real airline operations in Germany. Other schemes to enhance virtualisation of the industry are currently being studied closely.

    EU environmental spokesman, Ed Inderclouds, was glowing in his support for the new virtual airport: “This will be exceptionally wonderful in reducing the industry’s carbon emissions and laying a much smaller footprint. I can truthfully say I have no idea what it means, but as long as the carbon footprint is reduced, we strongly support it. We will now look to find another way of taxing the operation, but we have hundreds of people working on this with increasingly lower levels of work emissions and I’m sure we will find something equally innovative very soon.”